Friday, February 25, 2011


"There is no trust more sacred than the one the world holds with children. There is no duty more important than ensuring that their rights are respected, that their welfare is protected, that their lives are free from fear and want and that they can grow up in peace."
Kofi Annan


Yesterday something cruel happened to my younger siblings and I can never forgive myself for not being stronger, for being scared, defended and pointless instead. I promised myself to protect them against whatever bad that would cause them harm, and yesterday I failed. I had let them down.


In the bus, on our way to Namek’s birthday party, a woman attacked my siblings in public with unpleasant comments and they turned heatless by every inch the bus moved. It just started when Dennis innocently stepped on the seat back in the bus with his shoes on, just to pull his pants up because he is too skinny and then it turned out to be a polite request to a person to keep quiet, but that was not enough. Something that meaningless, started a fight between two people about racism and children's rights.
Never in my life have I been so humiliated. I told the kids to move and sit closer to the bus driver in the front and when she shouted the words after me, I could not do anything than loose my temper. I shouted like a crying child whom had covered her ears with her hands to avoid all the words. I was so mad!! Despite that, I did not say anything mean against her. I was not that childish to play her game, but still I lost my temper in public.. in a bus for god sake!  Still.. The words I used were polite, like I asked her to shut up instead of telling her to.
When we arrived to the railway station, I was going to call some guards for help, but I saw the eyes of the kids and they just wanted to stop the circus, the cruel madness. They wanted to get out of the bus immediately and I could not do anything than what was best for them. I did not want to pull them though another minute with racist words flying around their cute, child-minded heads so we changed to another bus. Instantly when I sat down I the other bus, Julie cried silently and Dennis was scared. He pulled my hair impatiently and asked me when we arrived. They both looked at me like they had been slapped. The liquid overwhelmed me for a second, but I stopped myself before I would start to cry. From that point to we reached the last station, we hugged each other tightly. All scared from letting go.


I wish I had done something to her back then. Proved that I was stronger and defended the kids right to be protected. I can not believe an older woman like that could be so disrespectful and say such brutal words to harm children especially to my siblings. I would have slapped her, and so I did, but only in mind.

I can possibly not be more ashamed than I am now.  

Bury me quick before I dig my own grave.