Tuesday, June 25, 2013

À la fin

Exams are finally over and i'm actually not that happy again. It's weird because you are supposed to be overjoyed, but for me it  feels like everything has ended - another chapter in the carefree teenager's life has come to its end, but i don't feel ready for it.

I was so nervous all night that i barely slept. I was both exhausted and quite dizzy in the morning, but I got my stuff together and got myself ready. For once I let my mother pick out my outfit, which was completely hideous, but because it is a special day, I let her have her way.
I already discussed how I wanted the day to be like - I did not want either her or my father to come. She thought i was selfish, but moreover it's because both she and my father would have to take a day off, which i couldn't allow. I promised her to let my grandparents come and let my grand farther be the one to put the hat on my head. I actually planned to let my NG-teacher do it, because I like her the most and my last exam was with her, but because of the time-schedule she couldn't do it and told me that my grand farther should have the honor.
My mother drove me to school and I carried everything that i needed for the day :books, papers, folders, my hat and a small champagne bottle. I couldn't find the classroom at first because i was so nervous i forgot the corridor system of my school, but eventually i found the right room at last.
My friends came out of the examination room, one after another and finally it was my turn to enter hell. I really feared this exam, because i would be really sad if i didn't do well, because I really love the subject. Under the presentation I was nervous and scared as hell. The censor was smiling kindly at me all the time but yet he asked me so many questions i did not have a clue about.  Sd but true i actually  got many things wrong: I got the sediments wrong, i got the questions wrong and i just felt completely wrong myself. When the exam ended i started to pack my stuff together and I was almost tearing up because it all went so awfully wrong. When i came out my grand father greeted me with a smile and was about to hug me before i stopped him and told him how it went. For once in my life, my mother told me that i shouldn't care, but be happy that i'm done. My grand father told me the same, but my grandmother told me, that there was nothing else to do so i should say a prayer and ask for the best.
My thoughts were are mess. I was a mess. I came in and told them right away how i felt and to my surprise, censor sat laughing at me. I looked over to my teacher and she told me i shouldn't be sad in any way, because i got 10 and immediately my legs became spaghetti. I couldn't stand straight and had to ask them over and over again how's that even possible. They liked that i made my own terrain profiles instead of using others and we found out that i was missing a paper, a map, that i was supposed to use in my presentation, and they couldn't understand why I didn't mention it just once throughout the presentation.
I came out dizzy and just aimed for my grandfather's arms. We all stood talking for a while, took some pictures (REALLY BAD PICTURES) and then we went downtown to get some lunch and to look around. My younger cousin Danthy came by and after spending some time with my grandparents, they felt that i was time to head home.
I ran around with my younger cousin for some time, followed her back to her mother, talked with her mother for a while and then went home by bus. Both the bus driver and the ticket conductor congratulated me and it felt odd... because suddenly everybody congratulates you like it your birthday and there is like a sign pointing at you, telling everybody, like Facebook does, that it's a special day for you. That sign was just shaped like a hat.

When i finally came home, my sister was quite surprised to see me with the hat like she didn't expect me to wear it. My brother was surprised as well and even I am not used to the thought yet.

I was invited for my classmate, Fie's barbecue today biked all he way to her place and that's about 12 km in heavy wind.
I had a fun time there, meeting up with Mickey and Aviaaja who also had their last exam today. We talked all from about how it all went to the last exam, how censor joked with us, how we felt pressured to vacation, future plans and moving out. Fie's family is very kind - and big too and they made me feel like home.  I stayed there for quite awhile before heading home on my bike. It started to get dim, but luckily my lights worked fine. It's quite scary to bike on the country were there's no lights or houses and everything you see in miles are trees. I was home within an hour and went straight to bed to blog about my feelings today. Now, after putting words on the day, it still feels unreal.
3 years just flew away. Bloody 3 years just disappeared - a closed chapter and junk on the wagon of experience and memories for life. There's so many i'm so thankful to know and i don't even know where to begin at because i'm so sleepy right now.

I better get to bed.
Tomorrow is another big day. Prom night!
Sleep tight guys!!