Monday, May 18, 2015

Dedication to a me that i used to know.

I have loved and i have lost. And losing is apparently what i'm best at since the outcome is mostly the same despite my efforts.
I do my best but it never seems good enough. worse is that, it just makes me feel like i'm never gonna be good enough for anyone.
 the worst thing is that to admit for yourself that you dont actually have those feelings you really want to have. and I dont want to remind myself of the same mistakes i never learned from.

I can preach like a waterfall about taking a leap of faith when it comes to relationships but what i cannot, is live by my own words.
you may not believe it but i dont believe in love anymore and come to think about it, i dont believe i ever did for sure.  All those things written, all those lines of the sweet sorrow, eventually
never really meant that much to me in the end. If it ever did to you, then i'm sorry because i'm not gonna take them back because when they were said, i meant every single thing but now, i just cannot back them up anymore. I waited for you but you took my time, obviously wasted it, using me and put me through pain. I'm a forgiving person but i dont forget.

I don't believe in love, i don't believe in us, i dont believe in you and seeing your face before me, just confirmed it all.  If our love was a song, let's just say someone didn't want to sing along.
You've put soooo much effort in convincing me that you're what i want and now it's clear that you're not

We should have been together, but we're not. And i'm too tired to convince you otherwise. I usually don't curse and I still don't so F YOU, F YOU SO MUCH
I dont hate you. It's just that i have to.

I'm breaking up with you ED!