Saturday, May 19, 2012

you're like my future - dead

It's saturday morning and i'm still in my bed at this time of the day because i have caught a cold. I don't easily get sick, but when i do, it's bad. My stomach and head hurts, my eyes are swollen, my face feels numb, I can't hear properly, i can't breath, i'm freezing, dizzy, lost voice etc.  At first I just thought that my allergy for grass/trees caused this, but that couldn't explain, why my throat is swollen and dry and why i have stomach cramps. I have had this since thursday, but since i have a great immune system I thought i would be ready for school again friday. Thursday i went out with Jenny and my old schoolmate Lilian, because we were all off school because of ascensions-day. We dined at Oriental Barbecue House in Odense and ordered "Running Sushi"(all you can eat sushi and oriental buffet). It was quite expensive and i think they should have made a separate "all you can eat"-menu with only sushi and not with the oriental buffet included.
I think many would be full eating only sushi. Besides my sore throat and scratchy voice I had a wonderful time with the ladies. We talked our hearts out and I have really needed that for a looong long time. They also talked about school stress, assignments and tests, but unlike them, I had to go to school friday while they had an extended weekend(thursday-sunday = included days off).

Yesterday was a horrible day because I had classes from 8-15.30 . I had 2xEnglish (3.5 hour), French and Danish. Even though my condition was horrible (my teachers told me to go home),  the hours flew by quite fast. My friend Pernille and I went to Paradise - ice creams to celebrate that we, last monday, finally finished our group assignment — "Integration In The European Union".  It was cold, because we sat eating behind the building so we didn't get any sun to warm us up. 

When I got home I had to go grocery shopping and all the thing mom told me to buy were all sold out. I even went to three different shops with no luck.... But Hey ! I found shaving foam for only Dkr 25.!! LoL.

Finally when i got home again, I thought i had time to relax, but then I had to make food, vacuum the living room, clean the kitchen, make some Mochis for mom, play with Dennis, because Julie went out to be with her friends. Quite stressful, but when Dennis and I are alone, we always like to make something delicious just for ourselves, so i made a spinach-orange-blueberry-smoothie for us. I did not eat anything for dinner, but got another glass of smoothie. A real vitamin booster along with a vitamin D pill and i collapsed on my bed with Dennis right next to me at about 20 o'clock. After an hour or so, my mom took Dennis out, woke me up and asked me if i was sick.... and I was sleeping so well .... Then my dad came later and did the same - asked me if i was sick and told me he had bought me a can of guava juice <3. Just as i was going to fall asleep again, julie called me on my iPhone and asked me if she could talk to Dennis.... I just hung up on her and took a look at the clock: 22.24 and I was not sleeping yet.  
I turned on some music, without knowing it i had picked the "heartbroken-playlist" so when i woke up this morning, (alone in my double bed, on my stomach, face hid in my pillow) Celine Dion was screaming her lungs out "ALL MYSELF,  DON'T WANNA BE!....".  I laughed briefly, rolled over and fell down from the bed.. laughing again .... got up, walked to bathroom and got reunited with my dinner.. 

Later today I have to go to my grandparents house for family gathering and eat dinner there too, but i have an assignment for tomorrow i haven't even started with it yet... I'm so screwed.. 
Since I have difficulties with eating normally (IT FREAKING HURTS WHEN I SWALLOW - EVEN MY OWN SPIT), I hope that can loose some pounds

 (like if that would be possible - i'm not that blessed).

Lately I  have problems with forgiving an old friend. On one hand I really want to forgive the person and let everything that have happened behind us and give our broken friendship a new start. BUT - On the other hand I have to reconsider, if it's the right time or not, because the person had put me through a lot of hardships that can't easily be forgotten - like the feeling of being betrayed.  After such a long time with completely silence, no contact or anything, the person acts like nothing have happened -  like the person just went on vacation and to come home to think that everything was just like before and that I automatically have forgiven the person.  I have heard something like: "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness the the attribute of strong ...", or something like that and i think it's from Gandhi. It's not like I can't forgive, i don't think it's the right time, because the person expects me to forgive. I think i want revenge, by not doing it.
I just came to think of that there's also another saying that says something with revenge..I don't quite remember the whole sentence, but i think it's like this; "...If you go out and seek for revenge dig two graves before you leave".

well .... I preordered mine B!@T€/-/ .

Good weekend !

Btw. I have an Istagram account ! Nickname: emtie ;)

food pictures from this morning:

Julie's Omelet

VitaminBooster smoothie: sellery, blueberry, guava juicespinachguanabana juicecucumber, apple

MOCHI! - Various flavors.