Monday, September 1, 2014

Under The Palm Tree

School starts again for me tomorrow.. or to be more accurate ... in a few hours. Neither am i excited or scared - I'm just tired. It sounds funny considering i've had 72 days of vacation and sounds like a little brat that isn't satisfied and well... I'm not! I've wished that i had put my time to use more efficiently or actually just enjoyed it while it lasted. When thinking back, I can sum up my entire holiday in a cloud of nothing because nothing really happened. Everything that is worth remembering can fit inside a cup, if written down on paper strips. And just as easy can the memories disappear as lighting the papers on fire.

Since the last semester had taken it's toll on me, I've admitted myself to therapy. I had a rough year and as far as i have postponed and avoided my troubles, it all came back on me and now it's time to deal with them. They're just a bunch of "things" i've been carrying around with for a long period. I can deal with new problems easier and faster than before but the old ones just tend to haunt me. I have no idea how it's going to be or how this therapy-program is going to help me, but i'll be optimistic about it. After all, this is what i applied for years ago without being granted the help and now i will see what it's all about. The reason why i need this program is that my old habits are coming back an i'm talking about the big nasty one - The eating disorder.

Life for me has always been a dance on roses but i just can't dance... Still i want to enjoy every single minute of life, bad or good, because i know it's worth it.